Third Culture Kids

Last Wednesday the Amsterdam team had the opportunity to spend the entire day with Dr. Jerry Reddix - a psychologist who has dedicated his life to working with and building up cross-cultural teams. It was a great day as we learned a lot about each other: how we deal with stress, how we problem solve, what our needs will be when we're oversees, what our favorite Starbucks drink is (useless info in the Netherlands), etc. I believe that our time with the good doctor will genuinely bare fruit when we're in Amsterdam.

The most enlightening part of the day for Amanda and I, though, was in the evening when we had a more casual conversation with Dr. Reddix in our home. We began talking about the impact that moving to another country/culture has on children. The term that has been coined for children in this circumstance is "third culture kids." (TCKs) I wondered, "why 'third', why not 'second'?" Grayson will be American and Dutch...that's two! But the concept is that Grayson won't be quite fully American and he won't be quite fully Dutch; he will be a blend of the two...a third culture that is unique to him. It is said that third culture kids have more in common with other TCKs than they do with kids from whatever country they've lived in. Amazing.

There are a couple interesting aspects of TCKs that Dr. Reddix shared with us (and our very own Adult third culture kid, Brooke, confirmed). TCKs often have a hard time answering the question: "where are you from?" It isn't as simple as merely responding, "I'm from Columbus," or "I'm from Amsterdam." There is a whole story behind where they are from. Do you want to know the 20 second version or the 20 minute version? Do you even really care? Those are questions that will go through every TCKs head when asked where they are from. That can be tough for kids, something that only someone who has had a similar experience can understand.

Another aspect of TCKs is that when they grow up there is a high likelihood that the will move internationally (again, I would refer you to Brooke who grew up in Morocco). So basically Amanda and I have sealed our fate - Grayson will probably move away - far away - from us someday. We're only now beginning to understand how difficult it is for our families to lose us across the Atlantic.

So please pray for Connor, Lucas, Gloria and Grayson. Pray that their time spent in Amsterdam would draw them close to Jesus. That they would catch a glimpse of what living on the edge of the Kingdom is all about. That they could develop deep and long lasting relationships with kids there, and that they could feel connected to family here in the states. That they would develop healthy and mature adaptation and relational skills. Pray also that they would from their young ages hear the voice of God calling them into his mission in this world - even if that means leaving their families some day and moving to all corners of the world!

Pray also for us as parents that we would always be aware of our kids' needs; that they would never take second place to the business of ministry; that we could develop deep and long-lasting family traditions that provide our children with comfort and continuity in these years of transition; that we would be faithful to pray for them.